


I Think I Wanna Marry You

by tjestrella



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: ALL THE GAY, F/F, F/M, M/M, bare with me, bobby nash knows all, buck is baby, eddie diaz deserves the world, he thinks buck is the world, this is gonna be mega gay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-26
Updated: 2020-03-26
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:34:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21924475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tjestrella/pseuds/tjestrella
Summary: Buck and Eddie get drunk and decide to get married. Problem is, they don't remember getting married, and they're going to be in for some very rude awakenings.
Relationships: Athena Grant/Bobby Nash, Christopher Diaz & Eddie Diaz (9-1-1), Eddie Diaz & Howie "Chimney" Han, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1) & Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Bobby Nash, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Christopher Diaz, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Evan "Buck" Buckley & Maddie Buckley, Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz, Henrietta "Hen" Wilson/Karen Wilson, Howie "Chimney" Han & Henrietta "Hen" Wilson, Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han
Comments: 186
Kudos: 467





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> uh i've never written fanfic before, i'm doing my best here, i'll try to keep everyone as in character as possible, and if you read this i really hope you enjoy this. it's fun to write, so i hope it's fun to read!

Twenty-four hours. 

Twenty-four hour shifts aren't that bad in Eddie's mind, so long as he goes home straight after and gets an appropriate amount of sleep. His only concern would be Christopher, but his _Tía_ Pepa had promised him she would take Christopher if ever needed. Eddie tries not to ask her too often, no matter how enthusiastic she is to take care of the young boy. 

"Great job earlier, Eddie," Bobby says with a soft yet firm tap on Eddie's shoulder, earning a weary smile in return. "Go home and get some rest."

"Will do, Cap." 

With that, Eddie places his helmet in his cubby and turns around to leave, bumping straight into Buck. They both take a step back, tired eyes suddenly filled with energy.

"Leaving already?" Buck asks tauntingly. His blue eyes shine under the fluorescent light, something Eddie secretly takes pleasure in observing. He smirks, playfully, and Eddie wants to roll his eyes.

"You say that like I didn't see you clock out the second we got back," Eddie says, which makes Buck's smirk disappear. "No shame, though. Just be sure to tell Bobby you can't do twenty-four hours next time." Though he's only teasing Buck, Eddie feels he sounds harsh, and wants to backtrack, but Buck still looks cheerful. 

"You're so funny. I could do these shifts in my sleep!" Buck is too proud when he says that, and Eddie can't help but laugh, if only for a second.

"Not sure that's how it works, Buck." 

Buck scoffs. Eddie holds back a smile. Buck shakes his head, as if he's shaking off Eddie's comment, and this time he looks serious. "Do you want to get a drink with me?" he asks, leaning against the firetruck behind him. 

Eddie pauses. "Do I want to get a drink with you?" he echoes, his eyebrows furrowing. Is he hearing correctly? Is Buck asking him to go for a drink? With him? Together? As in....? They'd spent the last year or so co-parenting Christopher so this should be expected, only.. it isn't. And Eddie isn't sure how to feel, or how to react. So he does his best to keep a pokerface as he looks at Buck.

"Yeah, man. I could honestly go for a drink right now, and who better to get drunk with than my best friend?" Buck's words are casual, and they send relief through Eddie's body. 

"I'll drive," is all Eddie says in response. He has too many different thoughts on his mind, and he hopes getting drunk will relax his thoughts.

His hopes aren't strong enough.

•

"Come on, come on. Teach me, please," Buck pleads, batting his eyelashes and sticking out his lower lip at Eddie, who can't help but simply melt on the spot.

"Okay, fine." Eddie pushes his empty glass aside and clasps his hands together, clearing his throat to prepare himself. "I want you to repeat after me, okay, as clearly as possible. Can you do that?" 

Buck nods, still pouting.

" _Me llamo Bombero Buckley_." Eddie says this slowly, doing his best to enunciate the words despite his creeping buzz. 

"Me yoyo sombrero Buckley!" Buck shouts happily. This causes Eddie to erupt into a fit of laughter, and Buck frowns. He grabs his lime slice and chucks it at Eddie, who stops abruptly, like a child being scolded in a classroom.

"I think we'd better try again sober," Eddie says, his face hot from laughing. 

Buck, still frowning, only nods in agreement. He knows Eddie is right, but the only Spanish he knows was taught in high school, and he wants to learn more. Though trying to learn Spanish while drinking is a terrible idea. "I know a curse word," he says, which definitely catches Eddie's attention.

"Which word?" 

" _Chingate_ ," Buck says, emphasizing the accent. 

Eddie nearly chokes. He wasn't expecting that. He figured maybe Buck knew _puto_ , or _cabrón_ , or maybe even just a dumb insult like _baboso_. The last thing he expected Buck to say was _chingate_ , a phrase he'd heard his father say, under his breath, of course, to his white boss a little too often.

"Who the hell taught you that?" 

Buck's face falls. He thought Eddie would be proud. Instead, Eddie looks mildly irritated. "No one actually taught me it, so I don't know what it means. I heard it on a podcast." Buck lowers his eyes, feeling embarrassed. 

Eddie looks around for a waitress and spots one, waving his arm to get her attention. "Buck, you just told me to go fuck myself," he says quietly, making sure the bright-eyed waitress doesn't hear him as she walks over to their table.

Buck's jaw drops and he can't find the words to apologize, but he's already distracted by Eddie ordering them another round, this time asking for a bottle. 

"Didn't know you wanted to get wasted," Buck says, grinning. He wasn't going to object.

"What's the worst that could happen?" Eddie says with a shrug, trying to ignore just how attractive Buck is beginning to look.

•

Buck had left to use the restroom ten minutes ago, and Eddie is beginning to worry. He's almost positive Buck said he only needed to pee. Eddie waits another two minutes, then he gets up and goes looking for him. He's surprised when he sees Buck leaning over a blonde woman, appearing deep in conversation. Surprised, and annoyed.

How dare Buck invite him to drink, then ditch him for someone else? Eddie scowls and walks up behind Buck, shoving him a little too roughly. Buck turns around with an angry look on his face, but it softens as soon as he sees Eddie.

"Eddie! Reena, this is Eddie!" Buck points at the woman, who waves at Eddie, looking as drunk as he feels. Forgetting his anger, Eddie awkwardly waves back, then looks at Buck. 

"We should go, Buck. Stuff is starting to spin," Eddie says, rubbing his temples. The last time he was drunk was years ago, but he's certain he wasn't as drunk then as he is now. He knows they should stop before something happens, something that shouldn't happen.

"Nah, Eddie, we should get married!" 

Something like that. 

Before Eddie can speak, Buck keeps going. "We should get married before we file taxes this year, so they can be cheaper!" Buck shouts this like it's the answer to every question in the world, and Eddie is nodding along like it makes sense. Well, of course it makes sense. It can be easier on him and Christopher, and he can even add Buck to their insurance plan! 

Eddie grabs Buck by the shoulders and stares at him, mentally unable to comprehend how smart that is. "Buck, you're a genius." 

"Yeah, I get called that a lot," Buck says shyly.

"A genius?" 

"No, Buck."

They both laugh until their sides hurt before remembering the blonde woman to their left, and Buck bows to her while Eddie watches, still laughing. 

"We're gonna get married," Buck whispers to her, very loudly, and Eddie just nods. 

"Come on, Buck, I'll order an Uber while you find a place." 

It takes them all of thirty-seven minutes to get an Uber and find a chapel, and it takes an additional twenty-two minutes to get the correct paperwork in order.

"Why is getting married so much work?" Buck whines, signing his name for what seems like the billionth time. He leans against Eddie, who chuckles to himself.

"Buck, it took Shannon and me a month to get married," Eddie says, to which Buck stiffens and sits up straight. Eddie doesn't notice. 

Once they finish, Eddie takes the paperwork to the desk clerk, who smiles at him in a way that makes him slightly uncomfortable.

"Do you have a witness?" The clerk asks, tapping her nails on the desk. 

"Um.." Eddie glances around and notices a guy in the lobby, who looks on the verge of passing out. "Yeah, him." Eddie points at him and the clerk nods. 

"Come, come." She motions for Eddie and Buck to follow her, and she leads them to an abnormally large room, where a minister stands at the altar, looking too bored for Eddie's liking. The guy should be happy he's marrying people! Maybe he isn't marrying people who are as smart as himself and Buck, and that's why he isn't happy. That's the only explanation that makes sense to Eddie.

"Eddie," Buck whispers, grabbing Eddie's arm and stopping him. Eddie looks at Buck, who has a stupid grin on his face. "We don't have any rings." 

"We don't have tuxes either, Buck." 

They laugh, again, until their sides hurt and Buck almost falls backward, but Eddie grabs his hand to steady him.

They walk down the makeshift aisle, painfully yet blissfully unaware that neither of them bothered to let go of the other's hand.

The minister looks at them for a moment then clears his throat, ready to begin. "Dearly b-" 

"Can you skip all that?" Eddie asks, and Buck nods in agreement. "Just get to the fun part." 

The minister takes a deep breath, readjusting his collar. "Names?" He motions to Buck, who stands tall and proud, like a child who wants to be Superman for Halloween.

"Sir Evan Buckley." 

The minister turns to Eddie. 

"Edmundo Diaz." 

"Do you, Sir Evan Buckley, take Edmundo Diaz to be your lawfully wedded partner?" 

Buck gasps. "Did you say awfully?" He says, appearing offended. Eddie snorts, stifling his laugh. 

The minister leans forward, his eyes showing a hint of amusement. "Lawfully, son, not awfully." 

Buck's mouth forms a small "o" and he giggles to himself before standing tall once more. "I yabba dabba do, Your Excellency." He salutes the minister, who looks ready to quit his job.

The minister turns to Eddie with an expression that begs for Eddie to be the normal one. "And do you, Edmundo Diaz, take Sir Evan Buckley to be your lawfully wedded partner?"

"Awfully," Buck whispers with another soft giggle.

"I do," Eddie says, now trying to ignore Buck repeatedly poking at his ear. 

"Are you sure?" The minister asks, and Buck gasps again. Eddie nods enthusiastically and the minister shrugs, he's seen weirder couples. "I now pronounce you husbands, you may kiss." 

Without wanting to give it a second thought, Eddie gives Buck a quick kiss on the cheek, then checks his watch for the time. "Buck, it's almost four in the morning, we should go," he says, giving a silent 'thank you' to the minister as he drags a stunned Buck out of the chapel to their waiting Uber.

"How was the wedding, gentlemen?" The driver asks as they climb inside, his smile so genuine that Buck can only smile back.

"Greatest day ever," Buck says with sincerity, glancing at Eddie, who's already too preoccupied with his phone to notice either of them.

"You will never forget it!" The driver exclaims.

Buck mumbles something in agreement as he yawns and leans against Eddie, who wraps his arm around his best friend. And husband. 

Best friends. And Husbands.

Husbands.

Titles they're both too drunk to remember after tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> beep beep


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is sort of a filler chapter, because shit is gonna go down next chapter. maybe. we'll see!

Three months.

Three months have passed since Eddie and Buck drunkenly got married, and still nobody knows. Including Buck and Eddie. 

Every so often, Eddie has a moment where he feels he's forgetting something important, but he always brushes it off. It's probably nothing, he thinks. Maybe he forgot to wash the dishes, or forgot to reset his watch, or forgot to buy Christopher's favorite cereal again. Something completely mundane. Marriage is the absolute last thing on his mind.

"Buck, for the last time, there is no such thing as fairies," Hen says from the kitchen, sounding exasperated. Rapid footsteps echo, followed by a loud groan.

"We don't know that, Hen," Buck says, absurdly defiant on the topic. Eddie ignores his task and jogs upstairs to join whatever the hell is happening, just for entertainment. 

"There is no proof fairies exist, Buck," Chimney chimes in from the pinball machine. 

"There's no proof they don't exist!" Buck's voice goes up an octave and Eddie wants to laugh, but he manages to keep a straight face despite the ridiculous conversation. 

"Eddie, will you please knock some sense into this boy?" Hen says, shaking her head.

Eddie raises his eyebrows as if to say " _Really_?" and looks over at Buck, whose eyes are full of a type of wonder he'd see in Christopher's eyes, and he quickly looks away. "He's not wrong." 

He doesn't wait for any response. He ups and goes back to what he was doing, polishing the truck with Smith and Roy. He hears Chimney mumble something as he descends down the stairs, but he isn't focused enough to hear it. 

Eddie's shift ends three hours later. He says his goodbyes to everyone and leaves, rushing home so Carla doesn't have to stay with Christopher an extra hour. 

The scent of vanilla invades his nose as he enters the front door. He inhales deeply and sighs, wondering if cookies were baked in the spirit of a certain upcoming Buck birthday, or _holiday_ , as Christopher lovingly calls it.

"Daddy!" Christopher's voice shouts from across the house. Eddie drops his keys on the dining room table and makes his way to his son's room, where Carla and Christopher are hanging a drawing on the wall. 

A drawing of Buck. Specifically, Buck sitting on a cloud with Christopher, while Eddie holds up the cloud, superhero style.

"Looks great, buddy." Eddie loves all of Christopher's drawings, but he happens to love the drawings with Buck just a little bit more. 

Christopher beams at that. He wraps his arms around Eddie's waist and squeezes. "Thanks, dad." He then goes back to his desk, most likely to draw something else that would bring a smile to his father's face.

"Oh, baby, you look so tired," Carla says to Eddie with a sympathetic pout. 

"You have no idea." Eddie rubs his eyes and Carla purses her lips, obviously thinking of something that Eddie wouldn't agree to. 

"You go get some sleep and I'll stay with Chris until Buck gets here," she says, patting Eddie's chest.

He wants to say no, but his yawn stops him. He smiles at her, grateful, and turns to leave, but her sentence hits him. "How do you know Buck is coming over today?" 

Carla smacks her teeth like Eddie just said something dumb. "Please. That boy practically lives here." 

Eddie pauses. 

_That boy practically lives here_.

Entirely unsure of what to say, Eddie just nods and goes to his room for a nap, thinking that he couldn't seem to remember the last time Buck hadn't been there. 

•

Eddie is awoken by suddent movement on his bed and he jolts, groggy but alert. He softens when he sees Buck sitting on the edge of the mattress. "Buck?" His voice is strained and he clears his throat. 

He glances at his watch and notes that his nap lasted almost three hours, which surprises him. His naps never last longer than an hour.

Buck smiles lightly. "You look peaceful when you sleep," he says, his voice almost too quiet for Eddie to hear. 

The silence that follows suffocates Eddie.

Thankfully, Christopher walks in, and both Buck and Eddie give him their full attention. 

"Buck." Christopher walks over to Buck and leans against him. Buck smiles, gently wrapping his arm around Christopher. "Are you ready for your holiday?" the boy asks sweetly, of course referring to Buck's birthday.

Buck's infamous 29ᵗʰ birthday, his last year before he goes into his 30s, which he loves telling Eddie he isn't ready for at every given moment. Then regretting saying so when he remembers Eddie is well into his 30s. 

"I sure am, buddy. Are you ready?" Buck asks cheekily, winking at Eddie. They both know how Christopher will react to that.

"I was born ready!" Christopher balls his hands into fists and enthusiastically nods his head, earning laughter from Buck, and a sudden warmth washes over Eddie. 

Buck and Christopher are so enthralled with each other, it's almost as if they could have their own little world with just the two of them, Eddie not even needed. Well, he knows he'd be needed, and even if he wasn't, he'd be glad to be there just to see the two of them simply exist. 

"Eddie." 

Blue eyes meet his own and he inhales sharply, swiftly hiding it with a faux yawn. "What?" 

Buck moves closer to Eddie, and Eddie now notices that Christopher has left the room. How did he not notice? 

"I had this really crazy dream last night," Buck says, nonchalantly leaning back and resting his elbow on Eddie's hip. "I mean, like, really crazy." 

"How crazy, Buck?" Eddie asks, sounding tired, less because of his lack of sleep and more because he knows Buck will spend more time calling the dream crazy than actually describing the dream. 

Buck opens his mouth to speak, then quickly shuts it and stands up. Eddie looks up at him in confusion. "Never mind," is all Buck says as he turns and leaves Eddie's room.

"Seriously?" Eddie shouts after him.

He wonders what that dream could be about.

•

Buck and Eddie spent the last few hours of the day with Christopher sitting on the couch, watching a marathon of a cartoon that had a talking blue jay and raccoon. Eddie finds the show to be a bit odd, but Buck and Christopher seem to truly enjoy it, so he can be okay with it. 

What he isn't okay with, however, is the fact that he had noticed Buck's sleepiness and repeatedly told him to sleep, only for Buck to insist he was okay and eventually fall asleep against Eddie.

Eddie knows he can't leave Buck to sleep on the couch, so after he tucks in Christopher, he returns to the living room to wake Buck up.

"Wake up." Eddie leans over Buck's sleeping face and taps his shoulder, not stopping until he sees the brilliant blue eyes staring back at him.

"Where's Chris?" Buck immediately asks, sitting forward and looking around before glancing at Eddie.

"Chris is fine. I put him to bed," Eddie replies as he sits next to Buck. He tries his best to ignore the jump in his heart at the fact that Buck's first thought when waking up is of Christopher. 

Buck sighs deeply, covering his face with his hands and almost moving away from Eddie.

"Buck." Eddie's voice is solid, and Buck looks at him like a child getting ready for a scolding. "What was the dream about?" 

"Not tonight," Buck says softly. 

Eddie isn't sure what to say to that, so he says nothing, he just nods. He desperately wants to know, because it's clearly affecting Buck, but all he can do is wait for Buck to be ready to tell him. 

How bad can it be?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> any and all feedback is greatly appreciated!!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is crazy, and the next chapter is gonna be even crazier! prepare yourselves!

Nineteen Hours.

Nineteen hours have passed since Buck refused to share his dream with Eddie, and despite their difficult shift, Eddie can't seem to shake that off.

Buck is his best friend. Eddie is Buck's best friend. They share quite literally everything with each other, so it makes no sense that Buck wouldn't share a simple dream.

But then again, there have been moments with the two men where certain things aren't shared immediately. Then those certain things blow up in their faces. 

Eddie needs to stop over thinking it. So he does. He gets up from his spot on the stairs and joins Chimney on the couch.

"Hey, Eds," Chimney says lazily, swatting at Eddie's arm in an attempt of friendly affection.

"Hi, Chim. How are things with Maddie?" Eddie asks, which suddenly energizes Chimney. His eyes widen and he sits up straight, an unnecessarily blinding smile already plastered on his face.

"Things are absolutely perfect. She's treating me to dinner tonight because she says she has a surprise for me. She has a _surprise_ for me." Chimney is almost bursting at the seams and Eddie can only smile with him. "I wonder what it could be. What do you think the surprise is, Eddie?" Chimney looks at Eddie in confusion, which in turn confuses Eddie because it can really only be one thing.

If Chimney can't figure it out, Eddie can't tell him. That wouldn't be fair to Maddie or to Chimney. So Eddie lies.

"No idea, Chim." Eddie shrugs and leans his head against the back of the couch, closing his eyes despite not being tired yet. 

He feels a strong arm wrap around his shoulders and, without even opening his eyes, he knows it's Buck. He can tell just by the scent of the Cologne. It's Eddie's own Cologne, or it was, until Buck had begged him for it. How could Eddie say no to him?

Buck rests his head against Eddie's and neither men are conscious enough to see the look on Chimney's face. 

"Still tired?" Eddie asks, and Buck only hums in reply, which Eddie takes as a yes. He can feel most of Buck's weight against his side, but more than that, he can feel Buck's heartbeat, and how it seems to match his own. 

"My dream was about you," Buck whispers, his voice full of uncertainty. He pulls away from Eddie. Eddie opens his eyes and leans forward, now forcing Buck to meet his eyes.

"Tell me about it." Eddie is pleading at this point, and he doesn't know why. He doesn't know why he wants to know so bad, or why he _needs_ to know. 

Buck takes a deep breath. "In my dream, we-" 

"Evan!" A voice shouts from behind them. Not just any voice. Maddie's voice. 

Buck's eyes widen. He jumps up from practically sitting on Eddie's lap and turns to face his sister. Eddie stands too, less scared than Buck, but just as confused. Eddie knows by now that Maddie only uses Buck's real name in angry or loving situations, and the current look on her face isn't very loving.

"Maddie? What are you doing here, hon?" Chimney asks cautiously, stepping towards her. She smiles at him with the light of a million suns before turning back to her brother with a death glare.

"Evan, how could you and Eddie get married and not tell me? _Me_! I'm your sister!" Maddie exclaims, gesturing furiously. 

Eddie suddenly feels like the wind has been knocked out of him. He drops onto the couch, burying his head in his lap. 

Buck gives his sister an apologetic look and turns his attention to Eddie. "I was about to tell you, Eddie, it happened in my dream." Buck sounds so panicked, Eddie wants to console him, but he can't breathe. He can't breathe. Buck takes Eddie's hands in his own, taking deep breaths. Eddie attempts to match them, looking up and meeting Buck's eyes. 

His beautiful blue eyes, normally full of joy, are now full of fear and worry. Fear and worry for his best friend. For his husband. 

Buck and Eddie are married. 

To each other.

"What's going on here?" Bobby says loudly, authoritative, walking over to them. He sees Buck hunched over a panicked Eddie and sighs. "Is it time for you two to talk to me?" his voice is soft, and Eddie knows he knows. Of course Bobby knows. How does Bobby know?

"Wait a damn minute," Hen says, joining everyone. "Buck and Eddie are _married_?" she looks at Maddie, who nods aggressively. 

"This came in the mail today, for a Mr. Evan Buckley-Diaz." Maddie holds up a crumpled yellow envelope, most likely crumpled because she balled it up, or so Eddie thinks. 

"I think we need to give them some space right now, everyone," Bobby says, talking more to Maddie than anyone else. They all disperse, Maddie giving Buck another death glare as Chimney pulls her towards the kitchen.

"We're married," Eddie finally says. He stares at Buck, who simply nods, still unsure of what to say. Eddie groans and buries his face in Buck's shoulder, wanting so badly for time to stop so he can comprehend whatever the hell just happened. 

He's married to his best friend.

•

"Eddie?" 

Eddie looks up from his bunk and sees Maddie awkwardly standing at the door, her hands clasped together. He looks at her and she walks over to him, sitting on the bunk opposite his. 

"Uh, what's up?" he rubs his eye and faces her. They've gotten closer in the last year, but not close enough to the point where either of them are ecstatic to randomly find out they're siblings-in-law. 

"It wasn't fair of me to come here the way I did, I just thought you and Buck got married and didn't bother telling me," Maddie says sheepishly, her embarrassment clear on her face. "I didn't mean to overwhelm you, and I'm sorry." She leans forward and pats Eddie's hand, smiling apologetically. Eddie returns the smile and covers Maddie's hand with his free hand.

"I'm still processing it myself." He pulls away and stands up, running his hands over his face, something he only does when he's extremely stressed, something he inherited from his father.

His father. How is he going to tell his father? How the hell is he going to tell his Catholic father he's married to a man? 

His throat tightens again and he almost chokes. Maddie quickly stands up and grabs him by the shoulders, sitting him down. 

"Breathe, Eddie. Just breathe. Breathe." Maddie's voice is so soft and soothing, it relaxes him enough to catch his breath. 

"Is he okay?" Eddie asks, referring to Buck. After Eddie's near panic attack, he had fled to the bunks without another word to Buck or anyone else. 

Buck. Sweet, sweet Buck, who had done his best to comfort Eddie, and Eddie hasn't bothered to check on Buck. How selfish can he be? He needs to see Buck. He needs to talk to him.

Maddie doesn't reply. Her silence tells Eddie enough. He knows Buck is in the locker room, mentally beating himself up for no reason, as he always does. And Eddie has been too busy worrying about himself. 

Eddie finds Buck in the locker room, sitting on the floor against the wall, whispering to himself. Eddie crouches in front of Buck and cups his cheek, the touch automatically pulling Buck out of his thoughts. He leans into Eddie's hand.

"Buck, I need you to know that you haven't done anything wrong," Eddie says softly, his thumb gently caressing Buck's cheek.

"What are we gonna do, Eddie?" Buck says, his voice sounding way too small for a man of his size.

"I don't know." He really doesn't know. What he does know is that whatever happens, he's going to make sure he takes care of Buck. He refuses to let himself be selfish. 

"I told you!" Hen yells from upstairs, knocking Buck and Eddie out of their moment. They make their way up to the loudness and everybody turns to stare at them. Buck shifts uncomfortably and Eddie steps forward, clearing his throat.

"I-"

"I believe you owe me fifty," Chimney says to Hen, cutting off Eddie before he even has a chance to speak. Hen curses under her breath and pulls a bill out her pocket, slapping it onto Chimney's hand.

"Bobby." Buck walks over to the captain, ready to say who knows what, but the alarm sounds, sending everyone into work mode.

"No worries, Buck. The three of us will talk when the two of you talk," Bobby says swiftly, looking past Buck and raising his eyebrows at Eddie. 

Eddie doesn't have time to even begin to decipher what that means.

•

"We need to tell Chris," Eddie says, joining Buck on the couch. Buck pauses the excessively gory video game on the screen and turns to Eddie, his eyes wide. 

"Why?" 

"Because he's my son, Buck." Eddie's voice hardens. Why wouldn't Buck want to tell Christopher? The boy deserves, and needs, to know. 

"Buck's son, too!" Chimney interjects, walking past the couch. Buck's cheeks turn pink and Eddie wants to strangle Chim for that one.

Buck clears his throat and looks around before lowering his gaze. "Yeah, Eddie, I know that, but why would you want to tell him? Can't we just get an annulment and pretend it never happened?" Buck's voice is strained when he says that, and it almost saddens Eddie. 

"Do you want to get an annulment right this second?" Eddie asks, cocking his head to the side. Buck's cheeks burn even brighter, and Eddie can't even imagine how warm they must be. He wants to touch them again, but he knows he shouldn't. Not right now.

"You really wanna do this right now?" Buck challenges, looking at Eddie in a way he's only looked at him a few times before. It catches Eddie off guard and his breathing hitches, but he plays it off with an eye roll. 

"Are you coming over after work?" Eddie asks, already knowing the answer. Buck nods. "We'll talk then." 

"Wouldn't miss it." With that, Buck turns his attention back to the game, but he moves closer to Eddie, leaning against him ever so gently. 

_Por Díos_ , that's not going to be an enjoyable conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> on a scale of 1 to 10, how badly do you guys think eddie wants to kiss buck?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> merry christmas!

Seven hours.

Seven hours have passed since Eddie told Buck they need to talk to Christopher, and with each passing hour, his desire to tell his son fades.

Why is he trying to tell Christopher right off the bat? Especially when he's still struggling to process it himself? 

Eddie is married to Buck. He doesn't know how it happened, when it happened, why it happened, or anything else. All he knows is, he's married. To Buck.

He's _married_ to Buck.

He's _married_ to _Buck_.

Buck, his best friend of a mere two years, though it feels to him like two million years. Eddie would be lying to himself if he said he didn't feel something for Buck. He just doesn't know what he feels. He hasn't thought about it much. And now he doesn't even know what to think.

What is someone supposed to think, or do, when they find out they somehow married their best friend? 

_Divorce_. Of course. They're supposed to have a laugh and then divorce. Simple as that. It's been done on sitcoms a million times over. But this isn't a sitcom. This is real life, this is Eddie's life. Eddie's life, that is now legally tied to Buck's. And he isn't so sure he wants to jump to divorce.

"Hey, Eddie?" A voice pulls Eddie from his thoughts, and he's honestly grateful for it. He looks up from staring at his hands and sees Chimney standing in the doorway to the locker room. 

"Yeah?" Eddie can tell by the look on Chimney's face that he wants to have a serious conversation, and it's painfully obvious what the topic will be.

Chimney walks over and sits next to Eddie on the bench. "I know this isn't my place to tell you, but I don't think you should tell Christopher about your... marriage." He says it slowly, and timidly, as if he's speaking a different language to a foreigner and trying not to offend them. Which, in a way, does apply to the current situation.

Eddie sighs. "You're right, Chim." 

Chimney wasn't expecting that. He raises his eyebrows and scoffs, incredulous. "That was way easier than I thought it would be." 

"I was thinking it before you told me," Eddie says with a look of faux annoyance.

"You wound me," Chimney says, covering his chest. They share a laugh before Chim clears his throat and his serious expression returns. "How do you see Buck?" 

Eddie doesn't understand the question. "What?"

"I see Buck as a baby brother," Chimney says simply, looking out past the trucks, to where Buck stands, in a conversation of his own with Forrest. "And it's not just because I'm with his older sister." 

Eddie just nods.

"So how do you see Buck?" Chimney repeats. 

Eddie still doesn't understand. "I see him as my best friend, of course." How else is he supposed to see Buck? Buck is his best friend, and that's how he sees him. 

Chimney shakes his head. "Seriously, Eddie. Think about it right now. Your reaction to finding out about your surprise marriage was to tell your son, not get a quickie divorce and be done with it." 

Eddie grimaces. Hearing those words out loud and not in his own head makes him uncomfortable. He knows his reaction was irrational and inappropriate, and hearing it from someone else is almost unfair. 

Chimney notices Eddie's discomfort and rushes to soothe his nerves. "I'm not trying to bust your chops, Eddie, I'm just saying that maybe you don't see Buck the way you think you do." 

"I see him as my best friend." Eddie's voice falters, and he mentally curses himself. What's wrong with him? Buck _is_ his best friend. But now, he's also his husband.

His husband.

Eddie can't get used to that. To be fair, he found out just hours ago, but it was all a bit overwhelming. 

Chimney doesn't budge. "How do you see Buck?" 

Eddie's eyes travel to Buck again. Buck, who's abandoned his conversation with Forrest and is now sitting against the steps and picking at what seems to be either an apple or a pear, Eddie can't tell. 

Buck seems to sense Eddie watching him and he looks up, automatically meeting Eddie's eyes. Buck smiles brightly, the smile that Eddie adores, the smile that never fails to knock the wind out of Eddie's lungs, and Eddie has to look away. 

He looks at Chimney, who has his eyebrows raised in a way that annoys Eddie. He doesn't want to have this conversation with Chimney. He doesn't want to have this conversation _period_. 

Chimney sighs. "Eddie." His voice is softer this time. "How do you see Buck?" 

Eddie can't handle it. He holds up his hand, silently telling Chimney to stop. He can't think about that right now. He can't. "He's my best friend." 

"You don't have to tell me," Chimney says after a long pause. Eddie scoffs, and Chimney laughs, which really annoys Eddie. "You don't have to tell me, but you have to tell yourself, and you have to tell Buck." 

Eddie gives in despite himself, but only slightly. "How do I tell Buck?" 

Chimney shakes his head, smiling at Eddie. It isn't a sly smile, or a sarcastic smile, it's a genuine smile, and it gives Eddie an uneasy feeling. He gets up and leaves the locker room, not bothering to throw Eddie a bone.

"Chim?" Eddie calls out, almost desperate. 

Chimney turns around to look at Eddie, while pointing in the opposite direction at Buck. Buck, who Eddie is too nervous to look at. What Chimney says next nearly sends Eddie into cardiac arrest. 

"I have never seen anybody look at anybody the way you two look at each other, and all of my friends are _openly_ in love." 

_Openly?_

_In love?_

_What?_

Eddie is dumfounded. "Chim-" 

Chimney raises his hands in defeat and scurries away.

Eddie doesn't even have time to breathe before Buck is suddenly sitting next to him, apple core in hand. 

"So I've been thinking, and you were right," Buck says, his voice muffled by the chewed apple in his mouth. "We should tell Chris we're married." he says it so casually that it almost flies over Eddie's head. Almost.

"I was wrong. It's not a good idea." Eddie gets up, still not looking at Buck. "I don't think you should come over later. I just remembered I have to help _Abuela_ with something. I'll see you tomorrow." he dashes out of the locker room, not even looking back once to see the look of pure hurt on Buck's face.

•

Eddie can't get to Isabel's house quick enough. He needs to talk to her, only her, before he explodes. She's the only person who can truly help him at the moment.

He was fifteen when he ran twenty-four miles from his house to Isabel's house, after his _Pápi_ had barged into his room when he had a friend over. A guy friend. He didn't know if Ramón knew exactly what they were doing, or what they weren't doing, but the look on his face and the swing of his fist said enough. 

He showed up at Isabel's house a weeping mess, and though he couldn't tell her what happened, she held him in her arms the entire night as he wept, whispering loving phrases into his ear. It gave him the strength he needed to go back home a week later, but it sadly didn't give him enough strength.

He never brought a boy home again.

His father never swung his fist again.

His mother, along with the rest of his family, never found out. Over fifteen years later, and they still don't know.

But Eddie isn't fifteen anymore. He knows he has to use his words, and he has to use them on the only person he knows he can. 

Eddie pulls up to the cozy yellow house and practically flies to the front door, banging on the door, despite knowing how much that would anger his grandmother.

The door swings open and Isabel has a scowl that would make Eddie cower if he weren't so overwhelmed with emotions he can't even identify or describe. She registers her grandson and drops the scowl, replacing it with a scared look.

"Edmundo, _mi querido_ , what's happened?" 

Eddie's lower lip trembles and Isabel swiftly engulfs him in her arms, making him feel like a boy again, running away to his _Abuelita_.

" _Dímelo, amorcito. Díme_." she rubs his back as he shuts his eyes tightly, trying his damnedest to not cry. It doesn't work, and he lets out a gut-wrenching sob, breaking his _Abuela's_ heart all over again. She pulls from the hug and cups his face with her hands, meeting his eyes. 

__"Please tell me." Isabel is pleading, itching to help him again, just as she did all those years ago._ _

__"I'm so scared, _Abuela_ ," Eddie sputters, choking on his tears. _ _

__Isabel pulls him into her arms again, blinking back her own tears. "Why, _mi niño_?" _ _

__Eddie gives her the only answer he can think of._ _

__"I can't love him."_ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly this chapter was hard to write. i wasn't intending on going in this direction but it came to me so it felt right! hope you guys enjoy it though.
> 
> mini update: i sort of borrowed some of this chapter from my own life experience, specifically eddie having a boy over and his father turning violent. i am a latino boy who is attracted to girls and boys, and my father broke my nose when i was fifteen for kissing a boy. it was a very difficult time for me, and it sometimes still gets to me, but i'm okay! it just makes sense to me, as a non het latino, that a non het latino in fiction would face personal struggles with it as well. there's heartbreaking homophobia in the latino community and i hope one day it recedes.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> decided to write this chapter from buck's perspective! if it fits, i'll probably write a couple more from his perspective. but my main focus will always remain from eddie's perspective.

Four hours.

Four hours have passed since Eddie dismissed Buck at the station, and Buck can't ignore the pain he feels because of it.

Buck and Eddie have keys to each other's houses, Buck has his own room in Eddie's house, and they never have to ask permission to see each other. They just show up.

So why would Eddie tell him to stay away? Sure, he didn't use those exact words, but he might as well have. That's what it felt like to Buck.

It just doesn't make any sense. Unless Buck made Eddie uncomfortable, suggesting that telling Christopher was a good idea. Eddie hadn't said that when he brought it up the first time, he only said that Christopher deserved to know. Then Buck had to go and ruin it with his big mouth. 

Buck knows that telling Christopher is a bad idea. What is he expecting? A celebration? Buck loves that boy like his own, and even though now he technically is, it doesn't feel right. Not in this way.

Buck also can't ignore the excitement he felt when he heard Maddie say _Mr. Evan Buckley-Diaz_ , specifically _Buckley-Diaz_. He isn't sure why it made him so happy to hear that, when he should've reacted the way Eddie did. 

He should feel panicked. He should feel uncomfortable. He should feel overwhelmed. But he doesn't. He feels happy. Happy, but also sad, because he knows Eddie doesn't feel the same. 

The shuffling of footsteps and a sudden bright light stops Buck's train of thought, and he looks up to see Maddie, who screams when she sees him.

"Buck!" Maddie gasps and clutches the front of her shirt, evidently surprised to see Buck sitting on the couch, minding his business. "What are you doing?" 

"I live here too, you know," he says with a smirk, hoping to keep things light.

Maddie purses her lips, not appreciating his forced sarcasm. "What are you doing sitting in the dark at midnight?" 

Buck shrugs. "Thinking about Eddie." 

"You mean your loving husband? I thought what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas?" Maddie teases, crossing her arms and leaning against the doorframe. 

_Ouch_. 

Buck is relieved Maddie isn't angry with him anymore, but that joke hurts. He knows his marriage to Eddie isn't technically real, and it sucks. It's not that he wishes it were real, he just wishes the idea of it were real. The love, the commitment, the domesticity.

He wants that, all of that, with Eddie. He's known that for a long time. But instead, he has a drunken mistake turned joke. 

"Buck?" Maddie walks to the couch and sits next to her brother, reaching over and gently rubbing his shoulder. Buck shrugs again and Maddie frowns. "I didn't mean it like that." 

"I know, Mads."

"You need to talk to him." 

That angers Buck. "I need to talk to him?" he echoes, looking at her in disbelief. "That's profound, Maddie." He knows his words are harsh as soon as he says them, and Maddie's face falls, not expecting such harshness from Buck.

"I know you're hurting-"

"I'm sorry-"

They both give each other a look that says _Really_? and Maddie waves her hand at Buck, allowing him to speak first. He shakes his head. She sighs.

"You love him, don't you?" Maddie asks slowly, sadly. Buck nods, looking at everything but his sister. 

He loves Eddie. He loves Eddie with every fiber of his being. He knows it in his heart, in his soul. He knows when he looks at Eddie. He knows when Eddie looks at him. He knows when he wakes up in the morning, and when he goes to sleep at night. He knows when he makes Eddie laugh. He knows when Eddie hugs him for just seconds longer than socially acceptable between men, and friends, and men who are friends. He knows when he's near Eddie, and when he's away from Eddie.

He knows every minute, of every hour, of every day. 

He knows Eddie loves him too, just not in that way. And he was okay with it before today. 

Before the marriage. 

Before the rejection.

Before wrongfully becoming Mr. Buckley-Diaz.

"He loves you," Maddie says softly. Buck scoffs. Maddie scowls. "He does, Buck." 

"No, he doesn't." Buck finally looks at Maddie, who's giving him that typical motherly look she always gives him when they disagree on something. The look normally amuses him, but it bothers him at the moment.

They aren't disagreeing on what to eat for dinner, or if water is wet, or how Buck looks in blue, which Maddie will say he looks _beautifully handsome_ in and he will wholeheartedly disagree. They are disagreeing on something significant, something so significant that Buck can't even seem to find the words to tell Maddie how wrong is she is. 

"It's not the same, Maddie," Buck says, grabbing a throw pillow and mindlessy picking at a loose string on the seam. 

"You are so blind." Maddie grabs the pillow from Buck's hands and tosses it on the recliner across from them, earning an offended scoff from him. 

"Rude. And ruder, and also not true. I have perfect vision," Buck counters, missing the true meaning of her sentence. 

"Not when it comes to Eddie," Maddie shoots back, raising her eyebrows, waiting for it to connect in Buck's mind.

It takes a moment, but when he gets it, he laughs dryly. "Eddie Diaz does not love me." he sounds more bitter than he'd like, and saying it out loud is its own definition of masochism.

Maddie huffs, growing frustrated with Buck. She racks her brain for a way to get through to him, almost on the verge of dragging him to Eddie's house and making them talk about it like grown ups. "Chimney doesn't love me." 

Buck looks at her like she's crazy. "Chimney loves you more than anything." 

"How do you know that?" Maddie asks, edging Buck like a small child. 

"Anyone knows just by looking at the two of you. He-he looks at you like you hung the moon. He never shuts up about you. He always listens to whatever you have to say, even when nobody else is listening. He lights up with you. He would do anything for you, he does do anything for you. He- he t-" Buck stammers, losing his words, his eyes growing wide. He stares at Maddie and she nods, smiling sweetly.

"Exactly." 

"Eddie loves me?" his voice is breathy, almost inaudible.

Maddie nods. "Eddie loves you." 

"No way." Buck briskly stands, his arms making large x's in the air, and Maddie tries her best to hold back a giggle, failing. He paces back and forth, whispering to himself the impossibility of Eddie loving him. "There's no way." 

Maddie takes a deep breath, ready to reiterate Buck's reasons. "Anyone knows just by looking at the two of you. He looks at you like you hung the moon, he never sh-"

"Okay! Okay! I get it!" Buck cuts her off, and she laughs again, happy that her brother finally understands. He exhales sharply, once again looking at Maddie with wide eyes. "Eddie loves me."

"Eddie loves you," Maddie says with emphasis, nodding. "Eddie loves you, you love him, and you're married."

Buck paces back and forth much faster now, rubbing his imaginary beard. "What do I do, Maddie? He rejected me earlier." Despite his new revelation and how much joy it brings him, the pain from the rejection is still fresh.

"Buck." Maddie stands and grabs him by the shoulders, stopping his pacing. She looks up at him with warm eyes and smiles, calming his nerves. He looks back at her expectantly, genuinely unsure of what to do, and hoping for another revelation.

"What do I do?" He asks again, almost whining.

"You tell your best friend you love him." Maddie drops her hands and gestures to the door. Buck nods, receiving a rush of adrenaline. He rushes to the door, snatching his keys from the coffee table and unintentionally slamming the door behind him as he goes.

Buck is going to tell his best friend he loves him.

He's going to tell his **husband** he loves him.

He hopes to God that Eddie says it back.

He doesn't know what he'd do if he doesn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i wanted to update yesterday but i had a truly horrible day, so im sorry ive made you guys wait so long. thank you for sticking with me, and tell me what you think about this one!! any and all feedback is appreciated!!!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a roller coaster, prepare yourselves!!

Three hours. 

Three hours have passed since Eddie showed up to Isabel's house, an emotional wreck over Buck. 

Eddie's crying didn't last nearly as long as it did the first time. He still remembers it, crying for hours on end, crying so hard it gave him a headache, crying so loud it ruined his voice, crying so long it put him to sleep. This time, he only cried for less than an hour. He wishes he didn't cry at all, but he knows everyone has to let it out at some point.

Isabel let him cry, again comforting him to the best of her ability, making him feel as safe and as loved as possible.

When he finished crying, she of course wanted to question him, though she knew deep down he wouldn't explain right away, if at all. He didn't the first time, and she didn't expect it the second time. 

So instead she decided to wait. And while waiting, she figured she may as well cook for her grandson. He may be a man now, with a child of his own, but he is still Isabel's _querido precioso_ , and she will always tend to him when he comes around. 

Isabel cooked Eddie a simple meal. Well, it was simple to her. _Arróz con frijoles y chiles rellenos_ , his favorite as a boy. They sat at the table in silence, Isabel watching in distress as Eddie could only stomach half of his barely full plate. 

" _Por favor, Edmundo, come más_ ," Isabel had said to him as he politely shook his head, still feeling too overwhelmed to eat. Isabel could only accept it, and took a different approach, making something she knows Eddie couldn't reject.

It takes less than forty minutes, and Eddie can smell what it is before Isabel is even halfway finished. 

_Champurrado_. 

The sweet smell of cinnamon and chocolate and corn invade his nose, and he can already taste the beverage, despite not having had any in years. 

Isabel used to make him a large pitcher of _Champurrado_ only a few times a year when he was a boy, ranging from days like _Día de la Constitución_ to Easter to his birthday. He would cherish those days when his _Pápi_ would drive him to his _Abuela's_ house, where just the two of them would sit on the front porch, listening to the news on her radio, and just drink the _Champurrado_ until the pitcher was empty.

Isabel exits the kitchen holding two steaming mugs, a warm smile on her face as she joins Eddie at the dining room table. She passes a mug to him and he slowly takes a sip, savoring the delectable flavor. 

" _¿Tienes ganas de hablar conmigo ahora_?" Isabel asks cautiously, sipping from her own mug. " _¿Ganas por decirme a quién tú ama?_ " 

Of course _Abuela_ would use _Champurrado_ to attempt to bribe Eddie into telling her who he loves, and though he knows that she knows, he also knows that she just wants to hear it, so it can confirm her suspicions.

Eddie licks his lips, setting the mug down. " _Tú quiere saber sí yo amo a Buck, ¿verdad?_ " he asks, to which she innocently nods. But Eddie knows his _Abuela_ better than that, he knows that she's just waiting for him to say the words.

But he can't. Not yet. He needs to say something else first, something he should have said years ago. " _Necesito decirte algo primero_." 

Isabel nods again and Eddie takes a deep breath, his nerves trying to get the best of him. He takes another sip from his mug and mentally prepares himself to take his _Abuela_ to a place neither of them can return from.

He tells her what happened when he was fifteen.

He tells her about how he invited a boy from school to his house to do homework and play video games, and nothing more. He tells her about how they began to sit too close, and get too comfortable with each other. He tells her about how their lips were going to connect, and he tells her about how the only thing that connected that night was his _Pápi's_ fist and his cheek.

He wants to stop when he sees Isabel crying, but he continues.

He tells her about how he ran away to her house and never wanted to leave, because of how ashamed he felt.

Eddie can feel himself crying now, but he continues.

He tells her about how he returned home and his _Pápi_ was cold with him for three weeks, unbeknownst to his naïve mother, until he brought a girl home and made it a point to kiss her before she left. He tells her about how his _Pápi_ was normal again after that. He tells her about how he himself was never normal again after that.

He stops there, growing too self conscious to continue. He stares at the tablecloth, the intricate pattern easier to look at than the crying face of his _Abuela_. 

" _Mírame, Edmundo, por favor,_ " Isabel says, and Eddie shakes his head. He can't look at her. " _Mírame a los ojos ahora_." Her voice is more firm and Eddie anxiously meets her eyes.

"Don't hate me," he says quietly, his tears threatening to spill again, and the noise Isabel makes sounds painful.

"Hate you?" she echoes, reaching across the table and cupping his cheek. " _Mí vída_ , I could never hate you. I love you, I love you just the way you are, and so does Buck." 

Eddie lets out a soft sob, placing his hand over hers. She intertwines their fingers and rubs his cheek, her look of love from before his confession not wavering a bit. 

"I'm scared, _Abuela_." 

"That boy won't let you fall." 

That sentence practically slaps Eddie and he exhales sharply, the heavy truth of it hanging in the air, trying to suffocate him.

He _knows_ Buck wouldn't let him fall. He knows Buck would do everything in his power to not let him fall. But the question is, does Buck know the feeling is mutual?

Does Buck know that Eddie wouldn't let him fall? Does Buck know that Eddie would lay his life down for him? Does Buck know?

If he doesn't know, he will know.

Eddie will make sure he knows.

•

Eddie pulls into his driveway around midnight, and is surprised to see Buck's Jeep pull up almost immediately after him. 

Why is Buck here? Why this late? Why tonight? 

Eddie already decided he'd talk to Buck in the morning, but that gave him time to prepare. Buck is here _now_ , and Eddie has had zero time to prepare.

Eddie steps out of his truck and turns around to watch Buck exit his Jeep. Both men assess the situation, both obviously scared of something, but Buck steps forward. Eddie is relieved that Buck steps forward. 

Their eyes meet and Eddie cannot believe that even in the darkness, the blue of Buck's eyes is astoundingly radiant. 

"I think we need to talk," Eddie says, surprised at how casual he's managing to sound despite how nervous he is.

Buck nods, his expression unreadable. "Yeah," is all he says, which makes Eddie even more nervous.

"Look, Buck, if you're ups-"

"I love you." Buck says this so simply, so sweetly, it makes Eddie go weak at the knees.

"What?" Eddie's voice is small. He knows he heard Buck say that, he said it clear as day, but he needs to hear it again. He needs to.

"I love you, Edmundo Diaz," Buck says, his voice virtually dripping honey. He steps closer to Eddie, and Eddie's nerves begin to disappear. All he can focus on is Buck, beautiful Buck, who stands close enough to touch his forehead, obviously waiting.

Eddie steps closer this time, leaving no space between him and Buck except for their lips. He has to say it now, he knows he does, and he searches his melting brain for them.

"I love you, Evan Buckley."

It takes only a second for their lips to meet, and then everything changes. Eddie knows it isn't the marriage that makes them one, or the confessions, it is this. This kiss, this soft, tender, long-waited kiss, it is what makes them one. Eddie knows it, and Buck knows it.

Eddie doesn't want to ruin the innocence or the significance of the kiss, and he can feel himself wanting to, so he pulls away, once again meeting Buck's eyes. 

"You have no idea how long I waited for that," Buck says quietly, resting his forehead against Eddie's.

Eddie reaches up and caresses Buck's cheek, and though it definitely isn't the first time he's done it, it has a different feeling to it now. Eddie can't describe the feeling, but it's there, and Buck feels it too. 

"You have no idea how long I waited for you," Eddie says, and he can just feel Buck's cheek grow warm against his palm, knowing he's blushing.

"Now what?" Buck asks. 

"We tell Christopher," Eddie says, smiling at Buck. He feels bad for the way he spoke to Buck at the station, but he hopes now it remains water under the bridge. Eddie glances at his watch. Nearly 2 A.M. "In the morning, of course." 

"Right. Okay." Buck nods and pulls away, reaching into his pocket for his keys.

"What are you doing?" Eddie asks, confused.

"Going home?" Buck says, equally confused.

Eddie shakes his head, taking Buck's keys out of his hand. "You're staying here." 

The smile Buck gives him is breathtaking. He wonders if he'll ever get used to Buck's smiles, but he knows he won't. He'll never get used to that smile. The smile that damn near breaks his heart because of the beauty and joy behind it.

He takes Buck's hand, intertwining their fingers, and leads him inside the house, to Eddie's bedroom.

They say nothing as they prepare for bed, as they know they don't have to. There's no starvation tonight, no lust, no inappropriate touching. They just hold each other as they drift off, knowing that the next morning will be just a bit easier now. 

Or so they think.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i listened to 'eddie my love' by the chordettes as i wrote this chapter. i love that song!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m back !

Seven hours.

Seven hours have passed since Eddie and Buck said they love each other, seven hours have passed since they fell asleep in each other's arms, and seven hours have passed since Eddie felt a weight being lifted off his chest.

When he woke up, Eddie would have sworn it was too good to be true, that it was nothing more than the perfect dream. He knew it wasn't though, as Buck sleeping peacefully right next to him was the hard proof that it was very real. 

Eddie reaches his hand out and touches Buck's cheek. Buck looks so serene sleeping that it would be almost cruel to wake him, so Eddie doesn't. 

With Buck sleeping, and Christopher at Pepa's, Eddie decides to get chores out of the way. He's relieved Buck is the heaviest sleeper he knows, because he can't help but blast _Aventura_ as he tidies up around the house. 

Eddie thinks about Buck the entire time. He thinks about Buck while he's scrubbing the bathroom, organizing Christopher's toys, doing the laundry, vacuuming every accessible inch of the carpeted floor, and especially when he's thinking about what to make for breakfast. 

Eddie is in the middle of mixing pancake batter in a measuring cup when Buck enters the kitchen, yawning and rubbing the side of his face. 

"Mornin', Sleeping Beauty." Eddie smiles sweetly at him, setting the measuring cup down and opening the oven in search of a skillet.

" _Buenos Días_ ," Buck says cheerfully, way too happy to speak what little Spanish he knows to Eddie. "What's this?" He dips his finger in the batter and brings it to his mouth, pleasantly surprised with the flavor. 

Eddie grabs the griddle skillet and sets it on the stove, closing the oven. "I'm making pancakes." 

"Is that vanilla _and_ cinnamon?" Buck asks, to which Eddie only nods. "Also, why do you have every pot on Planet Earth stored in your oven?" The look on his face is of pure confusion, and Eddie has to laugh.

Buck's confusion doesn't waver and Eddie shrugs, stifling his laugh. "Growing up Latin." Where else is he supposed to store the pots and pans? He sprays the griddle with pam and pours on enough batter for six medium-sized pancakes and glances at Buck. "So six for me; how many do you want?" 

"Mmcht." 

"Kidding. Do you mind keeping an eye on them? I have to call Pepa."

Buck nods as Eddie pulls his phone out of his pocket and heads out of the kitchen. The loud Spanish music suddenly becomes faint. Buck almost has a stroke picturing him and Eddie dancing to the sensual music. He shakes his head and focuses on the pancakes, trying his damnedest to ignore how hot Eddie sounds speaking Spanish. 

Eddie returns moments later, when Buck finishes the pancakes. Buck's heart leaps out of his chest when Eddie places a soft kiss on his cheek, or it feels like it does.

"We're taking Chris to the park later," Eddie says, taking over. He grabs two plates, the syrup and the butter, and utensils in the blink of an eye, genuinely surprising Buck with his swiftness around the kitchen. 

"...We?" Buck questions lowly, unsure. Did Eddie mean them? Or did he mean Pepa and himself? 

"We, Buck. You and me." Eddie says this as if it should be obvious, like the sky being blue. "I told him that the three of us have something to talk about." Eddie's voice sounds serious, and he doesn't meet Buck's eyes, still feeling bad about the rejection.

Buck blinks. "Oh." 

Eddie regresses. Buck's unsure expression fractures his confidence. "Unless you don't want to, Buck. That's okay." He turns away and focuses on the pancakes, not wanting to discuss the subject any further.

"No!" Buck says quickly, and loudly, startling Eddie. 

"No?" Eddie echoes. He raises his eyebrows, now confused. Sometimes, not often, Buck is difficult to understand because of his somewhat lacking communication skills. This is one of those times.

"No," Buck repeats. He reaches into the pocket of his sweat pants and pulls out a gold wedding band, holding it up in front of Eddie's face. "How do we tell him this isn't real?" 

"Um, that's very real, Buck." Eddie grabs the ring and examines it, his confusion growing even more. The ring is encrusted with small diamonds that wrap around it entirely, and he knows they just have to be real. "How the hell did I afford this?" 

Buck takes the ring back and shoves it in his pocket as if it were just an unimportant receipt and not the very thing connecting him to Eddie. "I know the ring is real, it’s Blue Nile," he says, indignant.

"So you're saying what we have isn't real?" Eddie asks, trying to understand what Buck is saying. 

Buck scoffs and walks away from Eddie, then sharply turns back around, an angry look on his face. "The marriage isn't real, Eddie! It's just a dumb joke that you can't even remember happening!" 

Eddie's face twists into a glare, now matching Buck's. It isn't his fault they got married while they were intoxicated beyond comprehension, and he doesn't deserve to be shouted at for it. "Well, if that's how you feel, Buck," he says, his voice hard. He doesn't want to fight, and say anything he'd regret.

"Of course you wouldn't get it." Buck's voice is softer this time, the anger replaced with pain. He leaves the kitchen this time, not giving Eddie another glance.

Then it hits Eddie. Buck remembers their wedding, or whatever makeshift wedding they had, and he doesn't. It hits him, and it _hurts_. Buck sees something he doesn't. Buck sees a genuine marriage, and Eddie can't even bring himself to think about it. It makes him feel like an asshole.

But how can he fix that?

He abandons the pancakes and thinks for a minute before going to find Buck. It doesn't take long, as Eddie knows Buck likes to go Christopher's room to feel better sometimes. He sees Buck sitting at the drawing desk, looking way too large for the child-size chair. 

Buck notices Eddie and looks up at him, saying nothing. The look on his face says enough. 

"Can you help me look for something?" Eddie asks nervously, picking at his tattoo like a shy child.

"What?" 

"My ring. I want to wear it."

Buck just stares at Eddie, who wears a hesitant smile. He slowly stands up and reaches into his pocket, no doubt fiddling with his own ring. “You-you wanna wear it?” he asks, unable to hide his forming grin. 

Eddie nods. He steps toward Buck and gently kisses him. “I do, Buck.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hi sorry for disappearing off the face of the earth! life is complicated. i hope you’re all still there to enjoy this!! and i’m not sure what to do with the next chapter yet but i’m going to show how buck and eddie got their rings.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a “throwback” chapter from the night they got married, and is sort of a filler chapter. i’m intending on making the next chapter veeeeery angsty, be prepared!

Three Hours. 

Three hours have passed since Buck and Eddie left the chapel, and decided to celebrate by going to a club. Buck’s idea, of course. And how could Eddie ever say no to him? 

With how hyped up Buck has been the entire night, Eddie is glad he’s there with him to regulate his drinking, or he knows Buck would end up in the Emergency Room. Eddie’s also glad he’s there with Buck for many other reasons, most of which he won’t admit to Buck, let alone himself. 

“What’s got you so deep in thought?” A silky voice asks, making Eddie look up from his untouched drink. The voice belongs to a beautiful woman with blond hair and blue eyes, and an obvious birthmark on her left cheek, just below her eye. Eddie is thrown back by her resemblance to Buck, or he thinks he’s just drunk enough to see Buck in everyone. 

“It’s complicated,” Eddie says dryly, taking too long to answer her question. 

“Complicated enough for a Zombie?” She asks in reference to his drink. He nods and she seems to understand, sweetly ordering the same drink from the Bartender. “It’s your love life, isn’t it?” 

Eddie looks at her like she’s crazy, and she returns it with a smile. “What makes you say that?” 

Blondie turns on her stool to almost face him, and quickly crosses her legs. The opposite of a sexual advancement. Eddie can respect that. “You keep looking out to the dance floor, but your body language doesn’t show that you have any intention of dancing. And your face looks serious, like you’re watching someone. Do I need to continue?” The look on her face is smug, too smug. It almost irks Eddie. 

“Hm.” He finally takes a sip of his drink and winces from how strong it is. Why is this woman so interested in his love life? And why the hell does she look so much like Buck? She looks more like Buck’s sister than Buck’s actual sister does. 

“So who is she?” Blondie asks nonchalantly. The pronoun puts a bitter taste in Eddie’s mouth.

He wants to correct her. He should correct her. 

“Dude, seriously, back off! I told you I’m married!” Buck’s voice shouts nearby, sounding very uncomfortable.

Eddie jumps to his feet, his hand accidentally knocking over his drink. He looks around frantically, searching for Buck’s tall figure. He spots him being manhandled by some ogre that dwarfs him, and he sees red. He makes his way over to the two and yanks Buck towards him, feeling bad when he sees a look of pain flash across his face.

“You deaf?” Eddie roars as he shoves the man back with everything he’s got, almost knocking him over. “He said he’s married!” 

“I don’t see any ring!” The man shoots back, winking at Buck and sticking out his tongue in a way that would make God angry. Eddie lunges for him but Buck wraps his arms around Eddie’s torso, dragging him away from the sneering ogre. When they’re close enough to the bar, Buck drops his arms and gives Eddie an unreadable look. 

Eddie is tired. 

“Thanks, Eddie,” Buck says gently, and Eddie almost doesn’t hear him.

“So it’s a _he._ ” Blondie says from her same spot at the bar, looking Buck up and down. She turns to Eddie and smiles sweetly. “What’s so complicated about being married?”

Eddie is very tired.

“We don’t have rings,” Buck says, sitting next to her and slouching back like they’re old friends. Eddie will never understand how it’s so easy for Buck to talk to strangers. He sits next to Buck and rests his arm on the bar, wondering how the two haven’t noticed their strong similarities. 

Blondie looks over at Eddie, then at Buck, then back at Eddie. She raises her eyebrows and Eddie nods. Complicated. “Go get rings,” she says simply.

Eddie sighs, rubbing his forehead. “We can’t just—“ 

“I like Blue Nile,” Buck whispers, dangerously close to Eddie’s ear. 

Eddie immediately pulls out his phone and searches for Blue Nile rings, noticing how expensive they are. He spent less than five hundred dollars on both his and Shannon’s wedding bands, but for some reason he feels like Buck deserves an elaborate ring. He finds the perfect one, and wants to throw up when he sees the price, but he orders it anyway. He knows Buck will be ecstatic when he checks his mail in a few days and sees it. 

“I’m okay with store bought,” Eddie says, putting his phone away and looking at Buck. 

“Are you sure?” Buck asks, incredulous. Doesn’t Eddie know the more expensive, the prettier? “I don’t care about price.” 

“Neither do I, but I’m sure.” 

They share a look before Buck slowly nods then stands up, grabbing Eddie’s hand. He looks at Blondie, who has just finished her drink. “We’re going to the jewelry store! Nice meeting you!” Buck extends his hand.

Blondie takes it, smiling. “You too!” 

She stops Eddie before they go, and leans forward just a bit, making sure he hears her. “It doesn’t seem very complicated to me.” 

Eddie ignores it. “Take care of yourself.” He follows Buck to the exit, holding his hand tighter. So he doesn’t lose him, he tells himself. 

Eddie is extremely tired. 

•

“I like this one,” Buck says cheerfully, pointing at a pinkish ring through the glass. The merchant dully pulls it out. Eddie is irritated by his attitude; he should be grateful to have such an excited customer. 

“For me or for you?” Eddie says jokingly. He’d wear it if Buck wants him to, no questions asked, but it looks more Buck than it does him.

“You’re right. I’m gonna keep looking.” Buck dismisses the ring and walks to the other side of the store. He crouches over every display, intently observing each ring. Eddie can’t even process how adorable he looks.

“Buck, I’d be okay with a simple—“

“Eddie, look at this one!” Buck dramatically waves Eddie over, and Eddie obliges. Buck is pointing at a solid cobalt blue ring, which happens to be Eddie’s favorite color. “It’s your favorite color!” Buck grins at Eddie and Eddie wants to cry in admiration. 

“Is this the one?” The merchant asks, his voice more alive than his expression. Buck nods and the merchant pulls the ring out, inching it towards Eddie. 

“Do you like it?” Buck asks before Eddie can even try it on. Eddie knows if this were a cartoon, Buck would literally be bouncing off the walls.

Eddie slips it on his ring finger. It’s a little snug, but fits otherwise perfectly. “It’s perfect, Buck.” 

Buck beams. Eddie melts. “We want it. How much?” Buck asks the merchant, who appears to be smiling, but Eddie can’t really tell. 

“One hundred and fifty three. Plus tax.” The merchant leads Buck to the register, leaving Eddie to stare at the ring on his finger. 

He almost wishes they were sober.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m sorry for posting a whole ass month later wowowow i gotta work on that. as an apology and a treat, i will definitely post the next chapter by sunday! i swear!!

**Author's Note:**

> beep beep!!


End file.
